Excuses...

Why is it that I'm so bad at keep up this blog?

Is it that nothing interesting happens? No, over the last 1 1/2 years my life has been full of up and downs, mistakes and triumphs, different countries, different cultures, different languages.

Well, is it that I'm not good at putting my thoughts and feelings into words?
Is it that I'm scared of people having a glimpse into the Sally that is sometimes so well hidden?
Is it that I don't appreciate the people who support me and invest into my life?
Is it that deep within me I'm too independant for my own good?

Last week I spend a week in the Lake District with a group of Pais leaders. Our theme for the week was Talmidim (the Hebrew word for disciple). We spend time looking at what it meant to be a disciple and how to disciple others, an idea which is so contary to what society teaches us.
The week has left me with many questions, which I am still working though and I have the feeling it will be a long process.

What does it mean to invite people on my journey with me? Am I willing to drink of the same cup with people as Jesus demonstrated at the last supper? What does this really mean? What does it mean to have a joint destiny with people? Is it just about working towards the same goal or is it much deeper than this?

What does it mean to submit my own will to that of my Father just as Jesus did (Matt 26v36-46)? Why is it such a scary thing? Is it because my image of God is distorted?

Jesus called his followers to be his disciples, to be his talmidim. He called them to be more than just students of his ways and of his theology, he called them to become like him. He believed in them enough to entrust them with the responsibility of being his representatives, of showing the world around them who He is.

Deep in me I desire this kind of relationship, this closeness with my Saviour and also I desire to live out this life of discipleship with my fellow disciples, encouraging and challenging each other along the way.

May the resurrection of this blog be the beginning of this...